Those Little Bars Of Hotel Soap

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,
S. Berman

Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid

Dear Maid – I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won’t need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn’t remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty

Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don’t get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That’s the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper

Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don’t want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don’t know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don’t know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:
On the shelf under medicine cabinet – 18 Camay in four stacks of 4 and one stack of 2.
On the Kleenex dispenser – 11 Camay in two stacks of 4 and one stack of 3.
On the bedroom dresser – one stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet,
One stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in two stacks of 4.
Inside the medicine cabinet – 14 Camay in three stacks of 4 and one stack of 2.
In the shower soap dish – 6 Camay, very moist.
On the northeast corner of tub – 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
On the northwest corner of tub – 6 Camays in two stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
S. Berman

It really is a funny piece of the human body. It has no real function that I know of.  Once you are born it just kind of exists. It’s a distant memory of a life that you cannot remember. At one point, your navel was one of, if not the most crucial part of your existence. It was where all of the nutrition and goodness you needed to survive and thrive in this life came into you.  It is what connected you to your life source and enabled you to grow. There was no trying, no stress, only receiving.  Magnificent indeed.

Why is it that once we are born and grow up, we tend to forget about our bellybuttons and our connection to our life source. We fill our lives with striving and stress, and we doubt the marvelous power and connection of that which brought us into existence. We look out of ourselves for the answers and solutions when we should be looking inward. I don’t care what it is you want; it all begins on the inside.

This month let your navel be your guide. Take a moment when you are getting out of the shower or are getting dressed and have a look inside your being. Find your inner navel and reconnect to your life source.  There is an unlimited amount of whatever you need: joy, abundance, peace.  You name it, it’s in there. All you have to do is look.

Props to the BB. Maybe there is a use for it after all.

- Hey, I’m Shawn. I’m a professional coach, change maker and un-normal. I run a personal development company called: The Miller Achievement Institute, we help individuals and businesses advance to the next level and beyond faster and more efficiently. Live your life from inspiration not desperation, call us! 778-278-6068

• It keeps all the green things, green. The city’s beauty is directly related to how good a job the sky does at watering it. I forget to water plants weekly; the clouds never forget. The rain is a reliable, efficient gardener and it saves us the hassle of having to get a hose out and do it ourselves
• I now feel confident I could survive water torture should the need arise
• Finally a good reason to crack out that kitty cat umbrella
• Everywhere else is Canada, people are buying parkas, snow pants and may very well have to wake up tomorrow and plug in their cars.
• I have a finer appreciation of architecture. Building with large awnings spanning half way into the sidewalk quickly become noticed, admired and respected.
• My hat began to smell, which sucked, because I love my hat, didn’t know how to clean it and didn’t want a new one. So, after much head scratching and consultation, I learned, after all these years, how to wash one. Thanks, rain! (Free Tip – soap and water in bucket)
• Significantly decreases the risks of getting sunburned. The money saved on sun tan lotion can then be applied to very bright indoor lighting.
• Dogs in rain jackets are funny
• Hot drinks in summer don’t go down as well as they do in the rain.
• Going out in a downpour to get bread transforms from monotonous to heroic
• Laughing at people with silly umbrellas is always good fun
• All this moisture is good for the skin. Not having to buy skin cream is another nice rain related savings.
• The extra weight of those wet shoes, socks and pant bottoms makes for extra walking resistance and thus, more exercise.
• Many cities these sizes often smell bad. The Pacific Rain is like a giant city air freshener.
• Prevents English Bay from drying up
• Great way to find out if your roof is working
• If it’s raining, it means it above freezing, and if it weren’t, it would be snowy and icy out there
• Puts the kibosh on forest fire season
• Increases odds of local evolutionary leaps featuring gills or fins
• All the inside time makes you creative

You see, there’s plenty to smile about during this rain season. If nothing else, it’s just refreshing the city for another gloriously beautiful summer. So, take the glum off your face, buy a hot drink, sit on a covered patio and have a good laugh at all the doggy raincoats.

- Brett Martin, a professional Stand up Comic who headlines Comedy Clubs across Canada and here in Vancouver. Brett also hosts Hurricane’s Comedy Night (999 Marine Dr, North Vancouver, Wednesday’s, 8:30), and can be seen at The Presentation House Theater on December 16th. He also likes hockey, rock and roll, the beach cats and pizza. You can reach him at brettmartinlive@gmail.com.

The Law Of Attraction Put Into Action

"The Secret" or The Law Of Attraction Is Only One Component Of A Plan To Create The Life Of Your Dreams

While I am a big believer in Napoleon Hill’s teachings about the law of attraction I think this video points out the hilarity in some modern interpretations used to sell products. I think Tony Robbin’s say it best; you can believe all you want but if you’re running east looking for a sunset you’re never going to find it. Belief is an essential part of the success equation, but practical strategies must accompany belief. It is critical to remember that the success stories passed down involved more than visualization or desire, they also involved educated, well thought out action.

The Mainstream Media Commercial

Sometimes it takes complex, well written articles to help convey the message an author is trying to make. Other times Youtube is able to do it for them. This is one of those Youtube times.