Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion… love actually is all around.

-Love Actually (2003)

You live in a city graced with a population of more than 2 million, where every day more men and women are turning 24-28-31–37, where more and more people are moving here, a city where every day new people become single.

Yet most people look at dating and relationships with scarcity. Scarcity is what makes people settle for less than they deserve: Less of a partner and less of a relationship. Finally, scarcity is the source of clinginess – a trait that many men and women cite as the number one turnoff.

If you’re reading this, you’re very likely one of the few that doesn’t feel that “all the good ones are gone” or that all you’re left with is an ocean of ineligible bachelors and bachelorettes. Instead, you take a deep breathe, and think about how many potential partners are dying to meet you and get to know you in this moment. Rather than sitting around moping and feeling sorry for yourself, or trying to get over an old relationship or a rejection, you realize that you can’t deny the two of you the pleasure of an incredible time.

When you come from a place of abundance, magic starts to happen. You’ll be surrounded by more friends and potential partners than you know what to do with and you’ll go into every interaction and relationship knowing that you’re coming from a place of choice.

Ignite the flame in your lover’s eyes this Valentines day

This simple, sexy and fun recipe is perfect for those couples wanting to enhance their desire and delve deeper into a more sensual connection. So set aside a few moments and let’s turn up the heat on your relationship.

Ingredients:

• 2 people in love (or lust) with each other
• 1 – 2 candles
• 2 cushions for sitting
• 1 private, comfortable, preferably romantic space

1. Light the candles, dim the lights and (un)dress into something comfortable.
2. Using your cushions, sit comfortably on the floor facing each other.
3. Rest your hands; in your lap, on your thighs or even within the hands of your partner. Wherever puts your body at ease.
4. Begin to become aware of your breathing, not controlling your breath, but simply noticing each inhale and exhale.
5. As you breath, relaxed, bring your gaze to your partner, notice the shape of their face, the softness of their lips, the flush of their cheeks, and finally the depth of their eyes.
6. Continuing with a relaxed breath, allow yourself to sink into their eyes, letting go, as they become lost in yours.
7. Feel their presence, their emotion, their intensity, their lust, their passion. Allow yours to embrace them as you feed on theirs.
8. Enjoy. Let this exercise take you into whatever direction it may.
It’s a gateway into passion, sometimes intimately romantic and other times a simple celebration of our animalistic nature. Wherever it leads you, celebrate it.

Interested in learning more delicious ways to enliven the lust in your lives?  Check out Sagredo Life Systems upcoming Evolutionary Sexuality Series (available for singles and couples).  www.sagredolifesystems.com.

-  Alessandra Sagredo

Sagredo Life Systems
www.sagredolifesystems.com

Alessandra’s core focus is to help others unleash their life and begin living a life of bliss!  As an Intuitive Consultant, Spiritual Growth Facilitator and Meditation Teacher she works with an international client base, helping individuals and professionals go beyond the basics of living and start truly loving their life!

Salsa is based on the concept of leading and following, with the man leading and the woman following. I have found time and time again the man having uncertainty taking the lead. This puts the woman in the difficult position to back-lead instead of her following and truly experiencing the ride. In other words, men have forgotten what it means to be men, and women don’t feel like women anymore.

Having certainty in the lead doesn’t mean knowing all the steps – which can get boring very fast – rather it’s executing the next step with confidence. It’s knowing when to be gentle and when to be stronger.

“men have forgotten what it means to be men”

Following can be a scary feeling for a woman because it feels like giving up the illusion of control, a control she had to create because most men have no idea how to lead. This in turn, makes it hard for a man to lead. So then we’re getting nowhere in the dance or the relationship. When a woman gives up trying to back-lead she can go on an amazing adventure and unleash her feminine energy. This energy is powerful, beautiful, and captivating.

The final piece salsa teaches you is the art of connection. It starts with looking at your partner and evolves to paying attention visually and kinesthetically. When you pay attention to the dance, the relationship come to life and you can enjoy every little nuance.

If you want to master salsa, find a skilled instructor. If you want fast results and to learn in a way that’s fun, easy, and allows you to meet great people, come to the “Learn How To Dance In 1 Day” boot camp. It’s March 6th and is designed for those that have always wanted to try this beautiful dance but were worried they had two left feet, no rhythm, or no partner. Go to http://www.HowToSalsa.net for more details.

- Article by Cheyenne Kamran. Social Dynamics, Leadership, and Dating Expert Cheyenne Kamran has dedicated his life to creating and implementing strategies for men and women to lead extraordinary lives. He is co-founder of Lifestyle Transformations, a company specializing in empowering men to master their social and dating life as well as their relationships with women – from sky rocketing their confidence to giving them the know-how to have captivating conversations.

Cheyenne can be reached at cheyenne@lifestyletransformations.com, 1-800-261-1482 ext. 706 or visit www.LifestyleTransformations.com

“Honey, do you love me?”

“What do you mean? Is it not obvious that I love you? I’m always cooking and cleaning for you! I always do nice things for you! You never do anything nice for me! How do I know if you even love me?”

“Of course I do! I always tell you how much I love your cooking and how beautiful you are. I tell you all the time how much I value everything about you.”

Does this sound all too familiar to you? This situation completely described my parents about year ago. I knew they loved each other, but why was it not coming across that way?

Their different ways of expressing love led to many arguments and miscommunications because they could never understand each other. Some days they felt like love had gone astray because they just couldn’t get along.

One day I picked up the New York Times Bestseller The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman who flawlessly describes that we all have a primary love language that speaks immensely to our soul. There are five love languages in total: Words of Affirmations, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Generally, the way we express our love is the way we understand it, and when two people express their love differently it can lead to confusion or even heartache.

After reading this book I realized that my mother, a very nurturing type, showed her love through Acts of Services, meaning she expressed her love for my father by taking care of him through household chores. My father on the other hand showed his love through Words of Affirmations by verbally expressing words of appreciation and encouragement.

When I shared this with them their faces lit up! If my father could do a really nice act of service for my mother such as cleaning up the garden, and my mother could praise him with compliments of what a good job he did, they would both feel so appreciated and loved because they spoke each other’s language. They realized that their love was definitely still there but they were just expressing it in a way the other couldn’t understand.

So if you ever find yourself in a situation where you don’t know how your partner feels, just remember we all express our love in different ways. Maybe have a discussion with him/her about these five love languages and your relationship could change for the better!

Check out a description of Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages. Which one speaks to you the most?

- Pia Edberg, a social psychology expert currently working for SAP Canada in human resources and as their Global Diversity Champion.

“But what do I say?”
“What if I run out of things to say?”

These are the two of the most common questions I’ve faced while coaching people on having effective and captivating personal and business relationships. Thus, it wasn’t a surprise when the number one thing requested at our last Elated News writer’s meeting was an article answering the aforementioned questions.

Now I can give you a lot of cool and interesting scripts, but I won’t. Instead, I’ll reveal two fundamental ideas to make every single one of your interactions naturally interesting and memorable.

Offering Value

Whether it’s a business meeting or approaching an attractive person at a bar, most people have the mindset of “I want to get his business” or “I want to get her number”. The person they are dealing with can feel that from the moment they open their mouth. That is taking value.

What if their mindset going into the meeting was “I want to contribute to him” or “I want to make her smile”? When we let go of our agenda, and come from a place of genuinely offering value first, we not only stand out from everyone else, but we have unlocked doors in business and personal relationships that others have to work a lot harder to open.

Creating The Essence

When you are with your friends you never wonder what to say next or how to impress them. The reason you and most people don’t is because it is understood that you are close friends. The underlying meaning of the interaction – the essence – is one of having fun and going with the flow.

When we are around our bosses, potential customers or attractive dates, a shift occurs. We focus on how to impress and what to say next – an essence, or way of being, which is not useful.

The essence you want to create on a date varies from being playful to connecting intimately. Your focus is on “we’re having an awesome time” and “I want to open up and get to know you.” This allows you to relax, flirt, and really get to know the other person.

The essence you want to create in business meeting is contributing to a common goal and connecting professionally. The mindset is “working together will create a lot of good for our customers and us“ and “we’re establishing trust and professional rapport.” With this mindset you’re guaranteed to have a productive meeting.

There are two things all the aforementioned ‘advice’ has in common: First, it provides the illusion of a quick-fix to attracting the opposite sex and second, it encourages you to do attraction rather than to be attractive.

What that really means to you is that you’re moving away from being yourself. You’re putting on an elaborate show; dating and relationships become a complicated game with you constantly worrying about the next move.

And believe me, I’ve been there. From the pickup lines to the interesting style choices (black nails and fur hat anyone?), I was the master of doing. My biggest feat must have been trying to get the girl during class with an acapella rendition of Earth Angel. I did a phenomenal job, the class erupted in applause, and she still wanted to be “just friends”. And my journey began.

My journey to discover the difference that makes the difference. Hundreds of books and seminars and thousands of interactions later, here it is: Be comfortable with yourself. If you’re comfortable and confident in who you already are – with all your kinks and all – you will be amazed at the quality of people drawn to you. Start today, be grateful about all that you are, and allow yourself to evolve beyond the narrow-minded “doing” mentality.

Photo by Friska Bako

-Cheyenne Kamran