Empathy has always been important and paramount, but somewhere in today’s society, it got lost.

Honestly, it wasn’t until I took a hard look at my life about 6 or 7 years ago after going through some difficult personal and family situations when I made a DECISION to stop letting negative, controlling and disrespectful people control my life and dictate my future or my families.

Since then, its been my mission to only interact, and surround myself ONLY with people that will lift me up – NOT bring me down…

I appreciate your comment and friendship.

All the best

Quinton

Yee haw! Way to go! You make my heart sing…

And look the sun is shining in Vancouver once again!

Thanks Elated News,

Ted Coombs
Kindergarten Teacher

….just kidding….

Wait…don’t say “rent them out”! Someone already thought of that.

They should probably have stuck to the more traditional fund-raising-ish stuff.

It is going to sound weird coming from a girl but I agree with you on this. When it comes to relationships most people now a day have a hard time defining roles. A man doesn’t know how to be a man anymore, and women want to take over the world and on the way they make men feel less of a man. We have evolved, and it is great. Women can be professionals, make a difference and speak their minds. And as a woman I am very glad to live in this world. But this has caused a problem when it comes to relationships. I am not saying necessarily that women need to be in the kitchen and men need to provide, but roles need to be defined. Relationships have problems when the roles are not well defined, whatever that might be for each relationship. I do still believe that men need to feel like men in order to be happy and make a woman happy. For example with my husband that could mean simple things like opening up my doors, taking out the garbage, and helping with heavy bags. Even though I know I could do any of those things myself, it makes him feel better if I let him do it, so I do. Women nowadays think that they can have a husband who’s more like a “girlfriend” but then they want a “man” in the bedroom and other areas. It just doesn’t work that way.

Now when it comes to salsa, while teaching, I’ve seen this problem over and over. Men who are not comfortable leading and women want to take control. We can always tell what type of relationship couples have on the first day of a salsa lesson. We even had one woman who stopped, and told her husband how to do the steps that we were trying to teach them instead of letting us teach. We always tell our male students that at least while dancing salsa, they need to be a man and take control “this is the only time you’ll get to tell her what to do.” And their eyes light up as if they have been giving a great opportunity.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that women need to be submissive and that we need to go back to the 1950s. I myself am a professional woman who was very independent before meeting my husband. However, I know where my role is, and when to take it. When I dance too: if I follow, I follow. And when I lead I get to have control and it feels great too.

Therefore, I agree with you. By learning salsa, and learning how to define your role (women following 100% and men leading 100%), it might help couples grow and help them have longer lasting satisfying relationships.

Good article Cheyenne!

I’ve done mindfulness meditation before but never thinking how it would contribute to my, um, sexual or sensual side. Definitely trying this one!

Meet 2 new people a month.

Reach out and connect with friends w/o using Facebook or txting.

Read 1 book a month

Learn a new tangible skill each month

Spend time with family

Volunteer at foodbank

Take an academic class

Write and reflect on all that I have

Learn about world religions/philosophical views

Refer back to this list

All the best in 2010 to all!

I wrote a story of a childhood memory for my mom, made a calendar with old photos for my sister, and framed photos taken in a photobooth with my dad. My sister and I also wrote a song about our extended family and performed it at our Christmas gathering. In doing all of this, it really made me think about how important these people are in my life, and was a very different process than the usual act of going out to buy something that I hope they will like.

Although subsequent Christmases haven’t been strictly buy-nothing, the general feeling has remained. While there are fewer presents under the tree, the ones that make their way there tend to be more meaningful, and we have all instead been able to spend more time, as Kate said, realizing “how grateful we are for our lives and each other.” That – along with delicious food – is what Christmas means to me.

And with all that saved time, money and energy, hopefully we can all be inspired by Kate and her family’s actions to do something valuable for people in the world who really are in need, at Christmas and always. Thanks Kate, for voicing an opinion that needs to be heard!

@Noah: The message in our Bootcamps is exactly that and the beauty of it is that we *demonstrate every step of it first. People are blown away by the results “being” rather than “doing” get them. Hopefully we’ll meet once we start traveling more.

I second that belief on language! Will keep on rocking, just for you.

Also, great idea on the news tidbit section, we will definitely consider it.

Stay elated!

Is there a quick way to forward your articles to someone? You know, click here to send this, preferably with a spot to add a comment to the receiver.

Even if no one recognizes your contributions, knowing yourself that you made a small change should be encouraging to you. Yes, it is a lonely path, but you have made a profound effect, without even realizing it.

Well said, thanks for sharing.

You have done it again. I like the “Creating Essence” paragraph. It really hit home with me. I am going to keep that in mind from now on.

Keep going

I’ve noticed that several dating experts/pick-up artists seem to have a story that follows a similar narrative as yours. Namely: “I tried a bunch of techniques and appearances until I realized that I should just be myself”. For example, Neil Strauss in The Game basically goes on for 300 hundred pages outlining his transformation into, well, a massive douche–in my opinion at least–only to spend the last page saying “Oh wait, I should have just been myself all along.”

This is problematic because techniques like “negging” are manipulative and insincere, which I’m sure you agree runs contrary to the concluding message of being comfortable with yourself. The unfortunate thing is that 99% of guys ignore the final message and focus on the techniques.

It sounds like your company takes a different approach, though, and highlights the “be yourself” message right out of the gate. That said, I’m guessing that message doesn’t fill your bootcamps, so I’m curious as to what techniques you guys advocate that are consistent with the underlying message. Wish I was in Vancouver to find out! Cheers

Keep up the rockin work everyone!

Cheers,

Quinton

We already are “somebody” – always have been and always will be. Being has no-thing to do with doing.

Non conceptual awareness shows me that the “me” that is so wrapped up in all those doings is impermanent, ever changing; alternatively focused, flighty and miserable. Yet when I’m in the moment, all the “issues” go away and life is good. For me, your article was a nice reminder to shut off my mind.

Thanks,
Mark

Your Dad

I enjoyed your article… personally, I would have loved to hear the un-edited rant on CNN…
well i guess ill have to buy you a coffee to hear it.. cheers

- Jason

Tom here, the bloke who agreed to put a stand of your fine
publications on display at Hamburger Mary’s, and then later discovered
you live on the same floor in my building!
Just wanted to once again commend you on a great little read and the
effect the Elated News had on my day. I had a handful of those lovely ‘mens beauty’
GQ/Esquire magazines in my hand when I received my Sunday morning
coffee at my local cafe (not a big fan of such spreads, but they are
easier to swallow than some of the main stream papers on a sunny
Sunday). I then spotted your publication tucked into the top shelf and plucked out a copy.

What I read what authentic and pragmatic, and mighty refreshing. I
deeply agree with the premise of Elated News and said to myself that
morning that I’d get in touch and find out about possible future
contributions and the paper in general. I strolled out of the cafe
that morning with a few bonus peptides in my system, put in some tunes and proceeded to have a great day.

It just so happened that you and your friend presented at my workplace
a few days later, and of course I was more than happy to make room on
our shelf and spread the word, so to speak. I also thought I should
have picked your brain further right then and there, and contemplated
running after you fellows down the street! And then, coincidence or
whatever it was manifested itself in me bumping into you again in the
elevator and learning not only that it’s your project, but you’re on
the same bloody floor! Quite amazing I believe.

So congrats Dan, keep up the good work, and if you need a hand
delivering at any point I’d be more than happy to pitch in.

Lastly, your piece on “somebody should” in the Sept issue inspired me
and was the source of a bit of ‘impetus’ in enabling me to help out a
couple of unfortunate youth last night. I saw them set up in bed (
comprised of a few blankets and bags) under the driveway just opposite
our building at around 11pm last night. It was raining cats and dogs,
and they looked cold and destitute. I cruised upstairs and threw a
blanket, a few handfuls of fruit, some trail mix, and a small amount
of $ in a plastic bag and went back downstairs and gave it to them. The
young guy was deeply appreciative, shook my hand, told me how much
they needed an extra blanket, and they both gave me some big beautiful
smiles. I felt slightly more comfortable going up to my warm, dry
apartment after that, and I wasn’t saying “someone should offer a hand to those two young ones” as I got in the lift.

Have a good day Dan, Cheers,

Tom Stranger

Wait for edition #3, it contains the second part of this initial article and if you have ever heard of “clearity through contrast” (a Law of Attraction teaching) you will see why I started off with this content…

Cheers

Quinton

Thank you for focusing on love, gratitude and peace rather than focusing on what you don’t want or criticizing.

Dan.

This is a common mistake that happens in many situations, whether it be personal or individual relationships. People rarely LISTEN!

To truly differentiate between needs and wants is key in any dealings, whether it is building a house or hiring a new employee. Each person needs to know what is expected and delivered.

The greatest advice I have ever received is to listen and view things from each stakeholders perspective. This would provide you with an understanding to move forward. It may sound simple and easy to do, but this basic principle is often forgotten, as we age.

To truly want the best outcome for each person and analyze what would best fit them, having a vested interest in all parties succeeding leads to better relationships and cohesiveness in a group.