Dancing Your Way to a Stronger Relationship
Salsa is based on the concept of leading and following, with the man leading and the woman following. I have found time and time again the man having uncertainty taking the lead. This puts the woman in the difficult position to back-lead instead of her following and truly experiencing the ride. In other words, men have forgotten what it means to be men, and women don’t feel like women anymore.
Having certainty in the lead doesn’t mean knowing all the steps – which can get boring very fast – rather it’s executing the next step with confidence. It’s knowing when to be gentle and when to be stronger.
“men have forgotten what it means to be men”
Following can be a scary feeling for a woman because it feels like giving up the illusion of control, a control she had to create because most men have no idea how to lead. This in turn, makes it hard for a man to lead. So then we’re getting nowhere in the dance or the relationship. When a woman gives up trying to back-lead she can go on an amazing adventure and unleash her feminine energy. This energy is powerful, beautiful, and captivating.
The final piece salsa teaches you is the art of connection. It starts with looking at your partner and evolves to paying attention visually and kinesthetically. When you pay attention to the dance, the relationship come to life and you can enjoy every little nuance.
If you want to master salsa, find a skilled instructor. If you want fast results and to learn in a way that’s fun, easy, and allows you to meet great people, come to the “Learn How To Dance In 1 Day” boot camp. It’s March 6th and is designed for those that have always wanted to try this beautiful dance but were worried they had two left feet, no rhythm, or no partner. Go to http://www.HowToSalsa.net for more details.
- Article by Cheyenne Kamran. Social Dynamics, Leadership, and Dating Expert Cheyenne Kamran has dedicated his life to creating and implementing strategies for men and women to lead extraordinary lives. He is co-founder of Lifestyle Transformations, a company specializing in empowering men to master their social and dating life as well as their relationships with women – from sky rocketing their confidence to giving them the know-how to have captivating conversations.
Cheyenne can be reached at cheyenne@lifestyletransformations.com, 1-800-261-1482 ext. 706 or visit www.LifestyleTransformations.com
I’m going to have to take salsa classes now!
Hey Cheyenne! First of all, I’m sorry, this is going to be a long response!
It is going to sound weird coming from a girl but I agree with you on this. When it comes to relationships most people now a day have a hard time defining roles. A man doesn’t know how to be a man anymore, and women want to take over the world and on the way they make men feel less of a man. We have evolved, and it is great. Women can be professionals, make a difference and speak their minds. And as a woman I am very glad to live in this world. But this has caused a problem when it comes to relationships. I am not saying necessarily that women need to be in the kitchen and men need to provide, but roles need to be defined. Relationships have problems when the roles are not well defined, whatever that might be for each relationship. I do still believe that men need to feel like men in order to be happy and make a woman happy. For example with my husband that could mean simple things like opening up my doors, taking out the garbage, and helping with heavy bags. Even though I know I could do any of those things myself, it makes him feel better if I let him do it, so I do. Women nowadays think that they can have a husband who’s more like a “girlfriend” but then they want a “man” in the bedroom and other areas. It just doesn’t work that way.
Now when it comes to salsa, while teaching, I’ve seen this problem over and over. Men who are not comfortable leading and women want to take control. We can always tell what type of relationship couples have on the first day of a salsa lesson. We even had one woman who stopped, and told her husband how to do the steps that we were trying to teach them instead of letting us teach. We always tell our male students that at least while dancing salsa, they need to be a man and take control “this is the only time you’ll get to tell her what to do.” And their eyes light up as if they have been giving a great opportunity.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that women need to be submissive and that we need to go back to the 1950s. I myself am a professional woman who was very independent before meeting my husband. However, I know where my role is, and when to take it. When I dance too: if I follow, I follow. And when I lead I get to have control and it feels great too.
Therefore, I agree with you. By learning salsa, and learning how to define your role (women following 100% and men leading 100%), it might help couples grow and help them have longer lasting satisfying relationships.
Good article Cheyenne!